Being intentional about your perspective is essential in working with emotions. In the video above I talk about taking the perspective of a higher power but that is just one idea. Choosing your perspective on purpose is choosing how you see things, which enables you to choose how you want to respond, how you feel, and what your relationship with the subject is.
Emotions have the power to control how we see everything. They color everything with their hue. If you feel bad things will look bad, if you feel great things will look great. When the perspective that your emotion gives you is an absolute reality to you, there is very little choice in how to respond or move forward. That is quite the ride to be on.
Learning to gracefully exit the perspective given to you by your feelings is a grown up skill that most of us never learn. Let’s learn now.
You need a home perspective. At Mindlight we call this your personal compass. Your home perspective includes your beliefs about Life, God, and your Self. It also includes your values, what is important to you and how you want to feel, and what are the things that embody these values and feelings for you.
This is not something you sort out when you are hijacked by emotions, it’s something you sit with and feel through when you are neutral. Your answers may change over time but they should be unconditional.
For example I don’t change my mind about family being important if my sister and I fight.
This is why a personal compass gives you a stable perspective. Regardless of how you feel at any given moment, these things hold true for you.
Notice when you are feeling big feelings. Notice how it is making things look and seem to you and remember that while the feeling may be valid the picture you are seeing is not an absolute reality.
Give your feelings a big hug and lots of agreement and do your best to ignore your thoughts. Your system might say “I’m so hurt, she is such a big jerk” and you think “I know you are so hurt that makes so much sense and we don’t know right now what kind of person they are”
Check your compass. Read through it. Take a few minutes on each line and get your answers back in your body. Feel their truth. Any clear insight you receive you can act on. Any misalignment between what you know to be true and how life seems in this moment, let it be.